Aurora
by Penitence
Summary: There was something in his eyes, that would have send a shiver down her spine, if she would have been able to see it. He lifted her chin, his eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. 'You really drive me into madness, Alice, and I think that you have a lot of fun doing so.' (Note: This Oneshot takes place within the story of 'Light and Darkness')


'' _I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving, but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall aspleep your eyes close.''_

 _ **-Pablo Neruda-**_

* * *

Slowly soft music suffused the room, in which he sat. Blood trickled from the cut above his left eye and had already stained his new shirt. Precautionally, he had put his gloves away. His sclera was bloodshot, but his eyeball had remained intact. The young pretty woman, who he kept watching the whole time, walked through the room, searching for needle and thread. Her dark curls were a little tousled. She had already gotten cozy, before the Joker, had decided to pay her a little visit, as so often lately. As she came to him, he couldn't, although he was trying so hard, take his eyes away from her slim pale legs. ''Here,'', she said, passing him a sewing kit and a little mirror, so that he could treat his wound. Thanks to his practised skills, it was sealed in a heartbeat. After that, the young woman traced the stiches with her fingers and dabbed it with a soaked cotton cloth. The disinfectant burned his skin like thousand little pinpricks, and yet, just like any other pain, he barely felt it either.

''I don't understand it, Jack,'' Alice said chidingly, ''how is it even possible that you are always in such a state, when you come to me?'' ''Well, it happens'', he said, avoiding the question altogether, and watched as the fabric that had covered her shoulder, slipped out of position because of her movements. Her skin was so pale that it almost seemed as if she were made out of porcelain. But he knew that she was nothing of the sort. She was a fighter, a lioness, a goddess in disguise.

'' _It happens'',_ Alice repeated doubtfully. ''Could you tell me how something like this just _happens_?'' ''How about, you tell me, why you are always such a pain in the neck, and keep drinking this sugary disgusting stuff,'' the painted man replied biting, first and foremost to change the topic, and looked at the steaming cup of cocoa. It was an odd addiction, forsooth, and he had noticed that she was an odd creature too. Brave, when everybody else was weak. Calm, when the whole world screamed. Gentle, when a storm raged inside of him.

Alice nudged his shoulder. ''Maybe, because I like this sugary disgusting stuff, smarty-pants. And somehow I like you too...you know that right?,'' she asked, more gentle, ''you know that you can trust me, right?'' The Joker answered with a low grunt. Of course he knew that he could trust er. Of course he knew that she liked him. Each gentle touch, each sincere word, was proof enough for him.

But he couldn't understand it.

That she just wanted _him_ , nothing more and nothing less. Despite the fact that he couldn't give her anything in return. ''And what do expect of me?'', he replyed, rising to his feet, just to wander around like a caged animal. ''What do you want to hear? That I want to spend the rest of my life with you? That I _love you_?,'' he spat the word, as if it were a disease, an insect, that he had to crush under his foot. ''Well, then I have to disappoint you, sweetheart. If you want to hear a lie, be my guest, then cherish this illusion. But that's not who I really am and I will never be. For nobody.'' He knew, that if they had could, her eyes would spit fire. ''How about you start with this: Don't be such a prick, all the time! That would be something!'' The clown stood riveted to the spot. ''Don't push your luck, Alice,'' he threatened, his voice a low dangerous hiss, but in her ears it had sounded like a thunderbolt.

''Honestly, Jack, I don't know what you want from me. But if you want this to end, whatever _this_ is, then say it now, and not when it's already too late.'' _'When I can't bear the thought to let you go,'_ she wanted to add, but bit her tounge, in the last second. Because she wasn't so sure, if it would be a very wise idea to reveal this part of her emotions. Even after all this time, she couldn't fully understand him. He was as erratic and as fickle as the sea. In one moment he was gentle almost tender and in the next, he was just like a petulant child.

''Don't be ridiculous,'' he said. ''What makes you think that?'' ''Oh, I don't know you dumbass, maybe it is the fact that you treat me like dirt, sometimes. I don't want anything from you, I don't expect anything from you, I just like to _be_ with you. When you are here with me, I don't feel so lonely anymore. And I thought that you might feel the same way. But if you can't even trust me. Where is the sense in that? We are going around in circles without a common aim.'' The Joker laughed scornfully, a sound that didn't suit him at all. ''If you think that I will have such a discussion with you, then you are mistaken'', he hissed, crossed the room and opened the balcony door in order to disappear. As so often he tried to ecape, to take the easy way out, but Alice wouldn't have any of that. Her hand on his sleeve stopped him from leaving. He could have easily broken away, but despite his better judgment he turned to her, but averted his gaze. ''What?'' ''You can leave, Jack and if you don't want to, you don't have to come back. But before that, anwer me one question: What do you want?'' ''I want my peace! I want-'' ''No, Jack,'' Alice said, shaking her head, touching his cheek so that he looked at her anyway. ''What do you _really_ want?''

He wanted _her_. So much that he couldn't even think straight.

Maybe, yes, maybe he was truly _insane_. At least, it would explain why her face, her smile, her voice, was the only thing he could think of. ''See, you can't even tell me. You don't know it yourself.'' Tears sparkled in her eyes. ''I don't want this anymore, Jack. I don't want to waste my time for a man, who isn't _sure._ '' She let him go, took a step back and allowed him enough room to escape. ''Go,'' she whispered,''if you know what you _really_ want, you can come back to me. My door will be open for you, like always, you know that much. But before that, I don't want to see you again.''

A muscle in his jaw flexed, he licked over his scarlet lips before he tilted his head to the side and just looked at her. There was _something_ in his eyes, that would have send a shiver down her spine, if she would have been able to see it. He lifted her chin, his eyes seemed to glow in the darkness. ''You really drive me into _madness,_ Alice, and I think that you have a lot of fun doing so.'' Before Alice got the chance to say anything in her defense, his lips crashed onto hers into a bruising kiss. It was more desperate than pleasant, and took her whole breath away.

He pushed her backwards until she fell onto the sofa. Then he placed her hip on his eye level and began to loosen the waistband of her pyjama bottoms. ''What are you doing?,'' Alice whispered, who had catched her breath again. The Joker looked at her through his eyelashes. His eyes were pitch-black. ''I'm going to show you what I _really_ want.'' Alice inhaled sharply when he stripped the pyjama bottoms down her legs and hooked his fingers inside her panties to do the same thing. ''Wait a minute, Jack, wait,'' she said with a panic-stricken voice, ''I, I've never done anything like this, I-'' She stopped and bit her bottom lip. The embarrassment made her blush. The Joker, silent for a while, traced the soft skin of her thigh with his fingertips. Utterly mesmerized by the sight of her twitching muscles.

Without many words, he had understood, what she had tried to tell him. And if he was honest with himself, what he would never admit to her, he was a litte nervous too. Because this, was something entirely different, than anything he had ever done before. It was new, it was strange, it was _crazy_ and he knew that he would never get enough of _her._

''Schh, schh, schh, I'm not going to hurt you, Alice, unless you want it'', he said with a laugh in his voice that covered his own nervousness perfectly. ''You are horrible, Jack!,'' she said, deeply ashamed. ''No, I'm serious, Alice,'' he murmured, nipping her skin with his teeths. ''I'm not,'' another bite, ''going to,'' another one, ''hurt you.'' A last bite, so close to her private parts that she could do nothing more than sigh in pleasure. ''I know, Jack, I know...'' This whispered words was all he needed to continue.

Each touch was cautious and gentle, all the more thrilling because she couldn't see him, couldn't even guess what he would do next. In this night, he wasn't the Joker and she wasn't Alice.

They were two souls, which merged into one.


End file.
